You, Me, We: A Jewish Teenager’s Guide to Identity and Belonging

These days, we hear, through every channel of communication, messages encouraging
young people to examine and reexamine their feelings about gender, attractions and
relationships. It is virtually impossible to escape such messages, which proclaim,
among other things, that the possibilities one can choose are endless. And anyone who
tries to guide a child towards a traditional view of gender and relationships is seen as
violating a child’s human right to be and behave however they choose to. As a
psychologist and a Jew, I deeply believe that the illusion of infinite choice without limits
is damaging to young people. In You, Me, We, I explain the process of young
people maturing, discovering the unique gifts that each of them can share, growing into
an appreciation of their maleness or femaleness and learning the amazing future that
their biological gender has in store for them. The Torah view on these matters is so
fundamentally different from what the world at large is saying. My aim, in this booklet, is
to explain, at a young person’s level, the dignity and joy of the Torah way.